MMP

Thankfully, Hurricane Issac is just missing Texas and colliding with a gigantic hook shaped area just south of Texas.

Instead of just telling our boss, I hit the forward button.

Greg took the Freeskier Sequoia to pick up lunch today at the 28th Street Mall.  Since we’re in Boulder there are all sorts of hippie-like parking spots.  Such examples are: Hybrid Cars Only, Expected Mother Parking and my personal favorite Alternative Fuel Vehicles Only.

Greg went right ahead and threw the Sequoia into the Alternative Fuel Vehicles spot.  Why did Greg park in this spot?  Well, apparently the Sequoia runs on something far more satisfying to procure than gasoline.

Thanks Boulder for the special parking spots for the alternative fuel cars. Our sequoia runs on slaughtered baby seals. - Greg Wright

In Rhode Island.  Setting up for Cait’s grad party.  More updates coming I guess, so stay tuned, man.

Here’s the view from the back of the Amirault compound.

Under most circumstances, layovers suck with the power of 1,000 suns.  However, I don’t seem to mind them very much at T5.  The food is good, there is free wifi and it is laid out perfectly.  Not a bad way to spend two hours of a rainy Thursday morning while you wait for your connecting flight to Boston.

What a beautiful morning.

Breakfast at T5.  Only $7 for an omelet, toast and home fries.  Not too shabby.

Busy bees at 7:00 AM.

Finally, a website that I… Err, umm, I mean YOU can relate to!

www.imsobadatsex.com

Here’s a gem.

I was in grade seven (I was a pretty big vixen back then), anyway me and my boyfriend had discussed the idea of doing the nasty after school one day. I told him to meet me at my place around five o’clock, the dude was excited as hell to lose his virginity, and I was just sort of excited to lose mine to him. I  really thought he was in incredible guy. Anyway, five o’clock rolls a round and he doesn’t show up, I wait, and wait… he never shows. Later that night I call him at his house and ask why he didn’t show up, his response will cripple my ego until the day I die, he said, “Sorry, Dave (his friend) just got a first edition Zapdos card and I had to go see it.” A Pokemon card, access to my vagina was less valuable to him than a Pokemon card. I’m so bad at sex.

It’s official, the bloodthirsty airlines just got my 16 digits, expiration date and secret three number code.  The plastic took a minor hit, I feel it will pale in comparison to the one my liver will take.

Arriving in Boston: Thursday, May 28th @10:30 AM.
Departing Boston:  Monday, June 1st @ 6:05 PM.

Email, text or IM me to make plans.

The standard wallpapers that come with the iPhone suck and chances are the one that you’ve got up there right now that you took with the lame ass camera sucks too.  What is the solution to end your extreme amount of wallpaper suckiness?

Download these.

Introducing the bacon assault rifle.
Some rad dudes spent their weekend fabricating a delicious replica of the AK-47 assault rifle out of bacon.  We should send a few of these over to fight our imaginary war on terror.  Nothing scares Muslim extremists more than gunfire from a weapon comprised from the flesh of an unclean, bottom-feeding animal that their religion prohibits them from eating.

The first snowfall, flowers budding, sunshine and bikinis, leef peeping.  Normal folks use these events to distinguish the turn of seasons.

Here’s how I mark the change of seasons…

Well, the Amir-fam is all grown up now.  Cait has graduated from Providence College, Andrew is living up in Boston and I’m here in sunny Colorado.  That leaves Mom and Dad to enjoy themselves in Rhode Island in the new house with Leroy.  In case you didn’t know, Leroy is a cat.  Hey, whatever floats your boat, Ron and Trish.

Ok, I’m a little off track.  Back to Cait.  She just graduated from PC and she’s got the world by the short and curlys.  What about the craptastic economy?  How is she going to get a job?  Will she be sucking at the teet of Ron and Trish?  Ummmm, no.  See, Cait’s already got a job.  So, she’s got a couple more weeks of partying and then off to the real world.  Before all that nonsense starts, she’ll be joining me here in Boulder for a few days of much deserved R&R.  What’s on tap for her visit?  Well, she’ll just have to wait to find out.

Congrats Cait, wish I could have been there today.

It’s not secret that I enjoy Twitter.  It lets me see what’s going on in the ski industry in realtime.  Since everyone and their mother seems to be joining twitter (thanks a lot Oprah, you bitch) I figured it was time to write a story exposing 100 of the most influential brands, skiers, media sources and insiders using Twitter in the ski industry.

100 Ski Industry Folks to Follow on Twitter, via Freeskier.com

So, you think you’ve got skills on par with a pro athlete? You watch as they session the snot out of a 110’ custom jump. Time after time they spin, flip, grab and land with the greatest of ease. Looks easy, right? Wrong. They’re pros and you’re not.

Looks like this guy learned the hard way. Jackass.

Thanks to Scott Markewitz for the new header on MMP.  Last week at Mammoth he was snapping away during the Salomon Jib Academy and manged to nab this one of an afternoon blog-session with some of the campers.  Sure, it’s dorky, but come on people… I’m a dork.

Introducing one of the greatest inventions in the history of mankind.  No, I’m not talking about fire or the wheel.  This, my friends, is a bottle opener that instantly opens every single frothy ale in a case of beer.

Ready to start up a night of binge drinking?  Have a thirsty baseball team that needs some ice-cold alcoholic refreshment?  Hell, maybe you’re just a raving alcoholic who wants to put a hurt on a case of beer!  Either way, everyone under the age of 30 needs this device.

Back in Boulder where the weather is not sweet.  Thankfully, it will be in the 80’s this week however I’m getting a little tired of it raining every weekend.

Here’s a shot I took driving home from the airport. Real artsy-farsy shit, you know?  Now if you excuse me, I’m going to go throw on some real emo music and get a real hipster haircut.

I want to go back to Mammoth.

I’m at Mammoth Mountain, CA for Salomon Jib Academy finals.  Can’t do an update right now, but I’ll get around to it.  For now, just enjoy the view from my hotel.

Fuck it, here’s the video.